Quick recap: My common-law husband/live-in boyfriend/constantly present significant other had a kidney transplant on July 7. He will have to stay in Vancouver General Hospital until they are certain that he is not going to reject the new organ. Then he gets to stay in Vancouver for 2-3 months at a condo graciously provided by the Kidney Foundation of Canada for transplant and dialysis patients.
I took nearly a week off of work to be there for him during this period. This is a significant issue, since while I make a decent amount, I don't make enough to take significant periods of time off with less than a week's notice.
So when the army of nurses, doctors and social workers descended upon Mischa and I, 'voicing concerns' over the fact that he was going to be all alone in his condo during the week, I got pissed off.
"It's very important that he have someone with him."
"He needs to have someone in contact with him at all times."
"This is not an ideal situation."
Well, I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but I do not belong to a union that would authorize me to take 2-3 months off of work at 75% of my pay. I do not have tenure. I do not even have enough vacation time to cover the days I've missed thus far.
Kindly tell me how I am to pull in enough money so that we can both eat, Mischa can make it to his twice-a-week appointments and have the many little things that make living so pleasant, like shampoo, toothpaste and soap? How am I going to keep my job if my work doesn't allow me to telecommute so I can both take care of Mischa and keep earning money?
I get that it's very important that someone be with him. However, all our friends are either working for a living, have small children, are elderly or are handicapped. Amazingly enough, we don't have people who can just drop what they're doing to live in Vancouver for 3 months to run errands and monitor a kidney transplant patient.
No, this isn't an ideal situation. An ideal situation is where I'm a writer who works from home - or a coffee shop - who can pause, rearrange and schedule my time around Mischa's care for this period. I'm not a writer with that level of privilege.
I resent people telling me that my income level and work restrictions are serious drawbacks to getting proper care for someone in my life who needs help. No, I didn't plan for this when I went to work hundreds of km from VGH. I also didn't foresee the need for me to become a top-ranking doctor, lawyer, or some other high paying professional who can drop everything to care for someone.
Give your collective heads a shake.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
FGM Rant!
Clitoridectomy; Wikipedia; The Age and Islam WARNING: EXTREMELY GRAPHIC PHOTOS (admittedly, this is a site biased against Islam, but it shows you exactly what happens before, during and after the mutilation)
Friendly Atheist on Ayaan Hirsi Ali
How can people do this to their children? How can people come to North America and send their kids back to their countries of origin to get this done? You know, I'm all about diversity and religious tolerance, but I cannot condone or understand this kind of behaviour. I don't give two shits about why people do it or what cultural impetus is driving them. This is the worst cycle of abuse I've ever heard about.
Right now, female genital mutilation (FGM) is in the news because the American Academy of Pediatrics has approved a 'ritual nick' performed for religious or cultural reasons. They claim that it could be a compromise between preventing mutilation and not allowing the procedure and driving families back to their home countries to have the full mutilation carried out.
I think that's bullshit.
If your home life is insane enough that you value ripping your kid's labia and clitoris off their body over any trifling concerns about pain, infection and the quality of their future health, then you're not going to be satisfied with a ritual "nick". You're going to go for the whole shebang. What's worst is that this is often encouraged by females who have had it done to them, so you're not going to get a lot of support from people who have been raised to think that this is the only way for them to succeed in life.
Hell, if you're in some idiot country where people think this is a good idea, it probably is your only way to succeed. And, yeah, I said "idiot". If you want me to change my mind, stop mutilating women. But these people are in the U.S. and in the U.S., while things aren't perfect, there are plenty of opportunities for women to succeed, all of which don't involve getting parts of their body sawn off and sewed shut.
There has been incidences in Canada, enough that the Canadian Criminal Code has been amended to prohibit the practice of removal of a child under 14 to another country for the purpose of committing FGM.
I am biased, I am taking this personally and I am most certainly not cognizant of every aspect of this practice. I don't give a fuck. People who support this practice are fucked in the head and should be stopped at every opportunity with legislation that ruins their fucking lives if they try this or succeed at it. Their children should be taken away and put in homes where the people have a half-assed idea of what it is to treat people like human beings and not like objects that need to be modified to bring the best price on the open market.
Friendly Atheist on Ayaan Hirsi Ali
How can people do this to their children? How can people come to North America and send their kids back to their countries of origin to get this done? You know, I'm all about diversity and religious tolerance, but I cannot condone or understand this kind of behaviour. I don't give two shits about why people do it or what cultural impetus is driving them. This is the worst cycle of abuse I've ever heard about.
Right now, female genital mutilation (FGM) is in the news because the American Academy of Pediatrics has approved a 'ritual nick' performed for religious or cultural reasons. They claim that it could be a compromise between preventing mutilation and not allowing the procedure and driving families back to their home countries to have the full mutilation carried out.
I think that's bullshit.
If your home life is insane enough that you value ripping your kid's labia and clitoris off their body over any trifling concerns about pain, infection and the quality of their future health, then you're not going to be satisfied with a ritual "nick". You're going to go for the whole shebang. What's worst is that this is often encouraged by females who have had it done to them, so you're not going to get a lot of support from people who have been raised to think that this is the only way for them to succeed in life.
Hell, if you're in some idiot country where people think this is a good idea, it probably is your only way to succeed. And, yeah, I said "idiot". If you want me to change my mind, stop mutilating women. But these people are in the U.S. and in the U.S., while things aren't perfect, there are plenty of opportunities for women to succeed, all of which don't involve getting parts of their body sawn off and sewed shut.
There has been incidences in Canada, enough that the Canadian Criminal Code has been amended to prohibit the practice of removal of a child under 14 to another country for the purpose of committing FGM.
I am biased, I am taking this personally and I am most certainly not cognizant of every aspect of this practice. I don't give a fuck. People who support this practice are fucked in the head and should be stopped at every opportunity with legislation that ruins their fucking lives if they try this or succeed at it. Their children should be taken away and put in homes where the people have a half-assed idea of what it is to treat people like human beings and not like objects that need to be modified to bring the best price on the open market.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
How it all began
4:05:48 Nim Bravewolf "features stunning turquoise waters "
4:06:08 Bravewolf Nim especially when you plummet into them from the bridge where you decided to end it all
4:06:15 Nim Bravewolf gives me the mental image of people arriving at the beach and just standing there looking at it, dumbfounded
4:06:19 Nim Bravewolf because they're stunned :)
4:06:32 Bravewolf Nim beaches of south zombies
4:06:37 Nim Bravewolf nice, yes
4:08:39 Nim Bravewolf you what I like?
4:08:53 Bravewolf Nim No, I don't what you like.
4:08:58 Nim Bravewolf pfft liar
4:09:02 Bravewolf Nim forbidden words?
4:09:06 Bravewolf Nim invisible words
4:09:21 Nim Bravewolf what I mean in particular though, is that I can say the most absurd and non-sequitor things to you, and you just roll with it
4:09:24 Bravewolf Nim attractive hats
4:09:28 Bravewolf Nim haha
4:10:09 Bravewolf Nim we should have our own show
4:10:11 Nim Bravewolf lol
4:10:29 Nim Bravewolf we need our own "wtf blog"
4:10:31 Bravewolf Nim haha
4:10:54 Bravewolf Nim "Stupid/amazing things from around the web and our heads"
4:11:00 Nim Bravewolf yes
4:11:02 Nim Bravewolf exactly
4:06:08 Bravewolf Nim especially when you plummet into them from the bridge where you decided to end it all
4:06:15 Nim Bravewolf gives me the mental image of people arriving at the beach and just standing there looking at it, dumbfounded
4:06:19 Nim Bravewolf because they're stunned :)
4:06:32 Bravewolf Nim beaches of south zombies
4:06:37 Nim Bravewolf nice, yes
4:08:39 Nim Bravewolf you what I like?
4:08:53 Bravewolf Nim No, I don't what you like.
4:08:58 Nim Bravewolf pfft liar
4:09:02 Bravewolf Nim forbidden words?
4:09:06 Bravewolf Nim invisible words
4:09:21 Nim Bravewolf what I mean in particular though, is that I can say the most absurd and non-sequitor things to you, and you just roll with it
4:09:24 Bravewolf Nim attractive hats
4:09:28 Bravewolf Nim haha
4:10:09 Bravewolf Nim we should have our own show
4:10:11 Nim Bravewolf lol
4:10:29 Nim Bravewolf we need our own "wtf blog"
4:10:31 Bravewolf Nim haha
4:10:54 Bravewolf Nim "Stupid/amazing things from around the web and our heads"
4:11:00 Nim Bravewolf yes
4:11:02 Nim Bravewolf exactly
Monday, April 19, 2010
Jesus' swollen bastards
11:02:09 Bravewolf Nim: LOL http://www.aolnews.com/weird-news/article/depiction-of-jesus-on-cross-stirs-up-controversy-at-oklahoma-church/19441036
11:02:45 Nim Bravewolf: oh I read that yesterday
11:02:54 Bravewolf Nim: the one I commented on :D
11:02:56 Nim Bravewolf: it was a big topic in my IRC atheism group
11:03:08 Bravewolf Nim: “Jesus' swollen belly looks like another swollen body part. “ LOL
11:03:16 Bravewolf Nim: I haven’t been on IRC in eons
11:03:42 Nim Bravewolf: that is actually a perfectly legitimate style of iconography though
11:03:48 Nim Bravewolf: I don't ht ink they should change it
11:04:20 Nim Bravewolf: maybe put a little line across to show his six pack
11:04:25 Bravewolf Nim: I know but I will still snicker in a juvenile manner.
11:04:36 Bravewolf Nim: http://afa.net/Blogs/BlogPost.aspx?id=2147493408
11:04:50 Bravewolf Nim: linked from the first... wow. Aren’t you an asshole.
11:05:12 Nim Bravewolf: yes, I would too
11:06:07 Bravewolf Nim: I like how this person is claiming that marriage would solve the ills of the single, poverty stricken mother, but is promoting his agenda by focusing his pejoratives on the children.
11:06:23 Nim Bravewolf: so... you're young and some guy knocks you up abortion is a sin.. and
now they don't want you to get help either?
11:06:34 Bravewolf Nim: and then he gets to his real agenda: “It's time to communicate in policy and not just in words that in America, we expect you to save sex for marriage, to have children only within the marriage relationship, and that we will no longer force American taxpayers to fund the expenses of children they did not conceive and with whom they have no relationship and for whom they have no responsibility.”
11:06:52 Nim Bravewolf: " They are certain to grow up in an environment where they do not have the daily, meaningful and essential presence of a father."
11:07:03 Nim Bravewolf: uh yeah.. because all fathers are AWESOME
11:07:09 Nim Bravewolf: and they'll make your life great?
11:07:28 Bravewolf Nim: OH. OH. So children should be your *punishment* for out-of-wedlock sex because you can’t abort them but you can’t get any help for your situation either.
11:07:34 Nim Bravewolf: yeah
11:07:37 Bravewolf Nim: What a wonderful environment to grow up in.
11:07:39 Nim Bravewolf: way to make their lives worse..
11:07:50 Nim Bravewolf: next they'll claim that we should just eat them
11:08:11 Nim Bravewolf: "This year, taxpayers will cough up $300 billion to provide welfare to single moms,"
11:08:17 Nim Bravewolf: I highly doubt this number
11:08:28 Bravewolf Nim: Not only are you a punishment for your mother, you also apparently should be labelled with the term “bastard” so that other people can cut you out of their social groups, thus ensuring that the problem of single-parent poverty is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
11:08:37 Nim Bravewolf: yeah
11:08:55 Nim Bravewolf: and I love how he says that the US is overtaxed
11:09:13 Nim Bravewolf: the US is SO not overtaxed.. they're way down the line for taxes
11:11:16 Bravewolf Nim: I am all for reforming the welfare system so that people can’t abuse it. However, if you want to effect change, you have to give these people a way out and actually empower them to make their lives better - make working more attractive than welfare because they get more opportunities and their children have good childcare options.
11:11:37 Nim Bravewolf: you can't make it so that no one can abuse the system
11:11:55 Nim Bravewolf: because then people who actually need it will get cut out on the side of caution
11:12:05 Bravewolf Nim: I just don’t see this happening... you can’t tell someone to work if they have no place to put their kids.
11:12:09 Nim Bravewolf: yup
11:12:46 Nim Bravewolf: more sperm donor dads need to be forced to pay support
11:14:27 Bravewolf Nim: I agree that women who choose to have children should be evaluating what kind of life they can give a child. However, I don’t think that single parenthood is the root of all evil. He doesn’t mention what kind of help he thinks people who have lost a spouse should have.
11:14:50 Nim Bravewolf: yeah
11:14:52 Bravewolf Nim: what if you did everything right and things just didn’t work out?
11:15:00 Nim Bravewolf: and what about women in abusive relationships?
11:15:06 Nim Bravewolf: or ppl getting divorced
11:15:12 Bravewolf Nim: oh they should stay for the sake of the money- er, children.
11:16:32 Nim Bravewolf: hah yeah
11:18:58 Bravewolf Nim: so what if you have a couple of black eyes, a broken jaw and a few busted ribs every few months? The American people - the hard working two parent families (because no single parent works for a living - they all live on yachts collecting welfare) who pay their taxes depend on you to shut your mouth (you should - all those broken teeth don’t look good on a woman) and praise God for your home.
11:02:45 Nim Bravewolf: oh I read that yesterday
11:02:54 Bravewolf Nim: the one I commented on :D
11:02:56 Nim Bravewolf: it was a big topic in my IRC atheism group
11:03:08 Bravewolf Nim: “Jesus' swollen belly looks like another swollen body part. “ LOL
11:03:16 Bravewolf Nim: I haven’t been on IRC in eons
11:03:42 Nim Bravewolf: that is actually a perfectly legitimate style of iconography though
11:03:48 Nim Bravewolf: I don't ht ink they should change it
11:04:20 Nim Bravewolf: maybe put a little line across to show his six pack
11:04:25 Bravewolf Nim: I know but I will still snicker in a juvenile manner.
11:04:36 Bravewolf Nim: http://afa.net/Blogs/BlogPost.aspx?id=2147493408
11:04:50 Bravewolf Nim: linked from the first... wow. Aren’t you an asshole.
11:05:12 Nim Bravewolf: yes, I would too
11:06:07 Bravewolf Nim: I like how this person is claiming that marriage would solve the ills of the single, poverty stricken mother, but is promoting his agenda by focusing his pejoratives on the children.
11:06:23 Nim Bravewolf: so... you're young and some guy knocks you up abortion is a sin.. and
now they don't want you to get help either?
11:06:34 Bravewolf Nim: and then he gets to his real agenda: “It's time to communicate in policy and not just in words that in America, we expect you to save sex for marriage, to have children only within the marriage relationship, and that we will no longer force American taxpayers to fund the expenses of children they did not conceive and with whom they have no relationship and for whom they have no responsibility.”
11:06:52 Nim Bravewolf: " They are certain to grow up in an environment where they do not have the daily, meaningful and essential presence of a father."
11:07:03 Nim Bravewolf: uh yeah.. because all fathers are AWESOME
11:07:09 Nim Bravewolf: and they'll make your life great?
11:07:28 Bravewolf Nim: OH. OH. So children should be your *punishment* for out-of-wedlock sex because you can’t abort them but you can’t get any help for your situation either.
11:07:34 Nim Bravewolf: yeah
11:07:37 Bravewolf Nim: What a wonderful environment to grow up in.
11:07:39 Nim Bravewolf: way to make their lives worse..
11:07:50 Nim Bravewolf: next they'll claim that we should just eat them
11:08:11 Nim Bravewolf: "This year, taxpayers will cough up $300 billion to provide welfare to single moms,"
11:08:17 Nim Bravewolf: I highly doubt this number
11:08:28 Bravewolf Nim: Not only are you a punishment for your mother, you also apparently should be labelled with the term “bastard” so that other people can cut you out of their social groups, thus ensuring that the problem of single-parent poverty is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
11:08:37 Nim Bravewolf: yeah
11:08:55 Nim Bravewolf: and I love how he says that the US is overtaxed
11:09:13 Nim Bravewolf: the US is SO not overtaxed.. they're way down the line for taxes
11:11:16 Bravewolf Nim: I am all for reforming the welfare system so that people can’t abuse it. However, if you want to effect change, you have to give these people a way out and actually empower them to make their lives better - make working more attractive than welfare because they get more opportunities and their children have good childcare options.
11:11:37 Nim Bravewolf: you can't make it so that no one can abuse the system
11:11:55 Nim Bravewolf: because then people who actually need it will get cut out on the side of caution
11:12:05 Bravewolf Nim: I just don’t see this happening... you can’t tell someone to work if they have no place to put their kids.
11:12:09 Nim Bravewolf: yup
11:12:46 Nim Bravewolf: more sperm donor dads need to be forced to pay support
11:14:27 Bravewolf Nim: I agree that women who choose to have children should be evaluating what kind of life they can give a child. However, I don’t think that single parenthood is the root of all evil. He doesn’t mention what kind of help he thinks people who have lost a spouse should have.
11:14:50 Nim Bravewolf: yeah
11:14:52 Bravewolf Nim: what if you did everything right and things just didn’t work out?
11:15:00 Nim Bravewolf: and what about women in abusive relationships?
11:15:06 Nim Bravewolf: or ppl getting divorced
11:15:12 Bravewolf Nim: oh they should stay for the sake of the money- er, children.
11:16:32 Nim Bravewolf: hah yeah
11:18:58 Bravewolf Nim: so what if you have a couple of black eyes, a broken jaw and a few busted ribs every few months? The American people - the hard working two parent families (because no single parent works for a living - they all live on yachts collecting welfare) who pay their taxes depend on you to shut your mouth (you should - all those broken teeth don’t look good on a woman) and praise God for your home.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Of Lesbians and Proms
By now most people are cognizant of the furor surrounding Constance McMillen's fight to be allowed to bring a same-sex date to her prom and wear a tuxedo at said prom. After it was ruled that not allowing her to have these things was a violation of civil rights and it was also confirmed that the school prom was going to be held, McMillen and her supporters found that only 7 people, including Constance, attended the "official" prom while her schoolmates partied at a private "prom" on the same night in a scene reminiscent of the experience of Carolyn King-Miller in 1965.
Now that their asshattery is forever enshrined in popular culture, the Itawamba Agricultural High School staff and parents have shown some signs of scrambling to explain how they really had the moral high ground. Apparently the moral high ground included excluding disabled students, groping and girl-on-girl tongue kissing (it's okay to engage in lesbian sex at IAHS if it's to turn on guys).
To IAHS, Constance McMillen was a troublemaker who just wanted attention. They seem to fail to understand that it was their going to extreme lengths to deny her the right to attend prom with her girlfriend and in a tuxedo that focused the international spotlight on them. If they had just handed her a couple of tickets, this would have been just another red-letter-day for the local limo service and nothing else.
Constance could be an all-around bitch. She could have just wanted attention. She could just be a glory-seeking whore. I'm sure that there are a metric ton of them in any small town you can dig up out of the glory of the American South - or anywhere else, for that matter. What the people involved with the IAHS hateprom scandal don't seem to realize is that Constance didn't train the spotlight on herself - THEY did.
It's the kind of ostracism and hate that only Jesus could love. Or was that the Pharisees? Or maybe they're taking this from some other part of the Bible. Anyway, all the people involved in the anti-lesbian campaign seem awfully religious... they're all good church going folk.
The Internet is a wonderful thing. Even after this has been forgotten by the majority, bits and pieces of it will still be floating around long after McMillen's classmates graduate from college. Their god forbid that any of them go for a public career like politics and acting. Every time they turn around, the "private party" of 2010 will be around to haunt them. And I hope it does.
One of the positive things, though is that other students have followed in Constance's footsteps and, amazingly, nothing bad happened.
Now that their asshattery is forever enshrined in popular culture, the Itawamba Agricultural High School staff and parents have shown some signs of scrambling to explain how they really had the moral high ground. Apparently the moral high ground included excluding disabled students, groping and girl-on-girl tongue kissing (it's okay to engage in lesbian sex at IAHS if it's to turn on guys).
To IAHS, Constance McMillen was a troublemaker who just wanted attention. They seem to fail to understand that it was their going to extreme lengths to deny her the right to attend prom with her girlfriend and in a tuxedo that focused the international spotlight on them. If they had just handed her a couple of tickets, this would have been just another red-letter-day for the local limo service and nothing else.
Constance could be an all-around bitch. She could have just wanted attention. She could just be a glory-seeking whore. I'm sure that there are a metric ton of them in any small town you can dig up out of the glory of the American South - or anywhere else, for that matter. What the people involved with the IAHS hateprom scandal don't seem to realize is that Constance didn't train the spotlight on herself - THEY did.
It's the kind of ostracism and hate that only Jesus could love. Or was that the Pharisees? Or maybe they're taking this from some other part of the Bible. Anyway, all the people involved in the anti-lesbian campaign seem awfully religious... they're all good church going folk.
The Internet is a wonderful thing. Even after this has been forgotten by the majority, bits and pieces of it will still be floating around long after McMillen's classmates graduate from college. Their god forbid that any of them go for a public career like politics and acting. Every time they turn around, the "private party" of 2010 will be around to haunt them. And I hope it does.
One of the positive things, though is that other students have followed in Constance's footsteps and, amazingly, nothing bad happened.
Friday, April 2, 2010
The Easter Bunny/Santa/Tooth Fairy Doesn't Exist... why are you crying?
"You broke my child's heart!" No, actually, you did that.
When I was but a wee bitchy tyke, I figured out that Santa didn't exist. It was not a fun time for me. I know that there are many people who figured out the non-existence of fantasy figures without material pain or distress. Unfortunately, I was not of that personality. I started crying and it was a long time before I could be consoled. It shook my faith in my mother and aunt and all the other people who told or implied to me that Santa was real.
No doubt, many people will say, "Well it's just a bit of fun! It's an integral part of childhood! Don't take it so seriously!" Well, when you're seven, you DO take it that seriously. Your parents/guardians are your entire world and what they teach you, you live by. When you find out that your beliefs about something are nothing more than a series of lies told to you by the people you are supposed to trust the most, it makes you wonder what else they are lying about.
My mother didn't intend to hurt me. She raised me the best she could and she wanted me to have all the happinesses and "magic" that childhood was supposed to come with. She didn't think - and a lot of parents don't - how it seems to a kid who has been raised with such exhortations as "Don't lie!" and "Be honest!" to find out that their parent(s) have been lying to them all along. She also didn't realize just how much I depended on that world of fantasy and how much I believed in it.
I find it painfully amusing how some people safeguard their lies with righteous wrath should anyone happen to mention that they buy presents or make Easter baskets or provide the money for the tooth fairy. Or if someone posts something on the Internet suggesting that their constructs are not real. Suddenly, this person "ruined" Christmas or Easter or whatever holiday. The parent never takes the blame for creating a fantasy world for their child(ren) that must inevitably be shattered.
Why don't more people teach their kids the concept of "the spirit of Christmas" or "we pretend that the Easter bunny comes to bring you candy", they create a fantasy world that can be shattered with a single reference to the truth. Better, it's a lot easier to explain why some kids get a lot of presents and some kids get little or none.
No doubt there are a lot of kids who took the whole Santa/Easter Bunny thing in stride and, no doubt, for them it wasn't a big deal. But how do you know if your child will take it badly? I'm not suggesting that making a kid believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny will turn them into a heartless killer. I am, however, putting it forward that to do this risks hurting a child deeply if they really, truly believe, only to be told the truth on the playground or overhearing a casual conversation. What I don't understand is why anyone would risk hurting their kid like this.
No matter how much people want to create "magic" for their children, I think a lie is still a lie. And it's just as hurtful as any other lie. Dressing it up in "magic" doesn't change it.
When I was but a wee bitchy tyke, I figured out that Santa didn't exist. It was not a fun time for me. I know that there are many people who figured out the non-existence of fantasy figures without material pain or distress. Unfortunately, I was not of that personality. I started crying and it was a long time before I could be consoled. It shook my faith in my mother and aunt and all the other people who told or implied to me that Santa was real.
No doubt, many people will say, "Well it's just a bit of fun! It's an integral part of childhood! Don't take it so seriously!" Well, when you're seven, you DO take it that seriously. Your parents/guardians are your entire world and what they teach you, you live by. When you find out that your beliefs about something are nothing more than a series of lies told to you by the people you are supposed to trust the most, it makes you wonder what else they are lying about.
My mother didn't intend to hurt me. She raised me the best she could and she wanted me to have all the happinesses and "magic" that childhood was supposed to come with. She didn't think - and a lot of parents don't - how it seems to a kid who has been raised with such exhortations as "Don't lie!" and "Be honest!" to find out that their parent(s) have been lying to them all along. She also didn't realize just how much I depended on that world of fantasy and how much I believed in it.
I find it painfully amusing how some people safeguard their lies with righteous wrath should anyone happen to mention that they buy presents or make Easter baskets or provide the money for the tooth fairy. Or if someone posts something on the Internet suggesting that their constructs are not real. Suddenly, this person "ruined" Christmas or Easter or whatever holiday. The parent never takes the blame for creating a fantasy world for their child(ren) that must inevitably be shattered.
Why don't more people teach their kids the concept of "the spirit of Christmas" or "we pretend that the Easter bunny comes to bring you candy", they create a fantasy world that can be shattered with a single reference to the truth. Better, it's a lot easier to explain why some kids get a lot of presents and some kids get little or none.
No doubt there are a lot of kids who took the whole Santa/Easter Bunny thing in stride and, no doubt, for them it wasn't a big deal. But how do you know if your child will take it badly? I'm not suggesting that making a kid believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny will turn them into a heartless killer. I am, however, putting it forward that to do this risks hurting a child deeply if they really, truly believe, only to be told the truth on the playground or overhearing a casual conversation. What I don't understand is why anyone would risk hurting their kid like this.
No matter how much people want to create "magic" for their children, I think a lie is still a lie. And it's just as hurtful as any other lie. Dressing it up in "magic" doesn't change it.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Indoctrinating Your Offspring into Your Cult of Choice
It's a pretty well understood concept that children are intellectually moldable creatures. Challenge them to consider new ideas, and they can really surprise you with their original thoughts. My experiences with teaching children and having my own children has never ceased to amaze me when it comes to the creative ways that children can process information.
That being said, it's also amazing that when children are spoonfed fundamentalist dogma, for their formative years, how scary and rigid they can turn out. You can't help but wonder what sort of inflexible environment has to exist for a child to give up their curious nature and their sense of empathy for other types of people.
I think that when you condition children that there are concrete right and wrong beliefs to have and right and wrong types of people to BE... that you're setting your child up for a hard life. No matter what you believe to be the "right way" to live your own life, it's important for a child to question things in their environment... whether that's questioning things that parents believe in or not.
It's surprisingly easy.. some would say disturbingly so.. to find the results of damaging kinds of childhood environments all over the media; one can only hope that these kids all grow up to learn how to think for themselves.
'Racist' parents fight for children
Wal-Mart Decorates Cakes for Nazis
That being said, it's also amazing that when children are spoonfed fundamentalist dogma, for their formative years, how scary and rigid they can turn out. You can't help but wonder what sort of inflexible environment has to exist for a child to give up their curious nature and their sense of empathy for other types of people.
I think that when you condition children that there are concrete right and wrong beliefs to have and right and wrong types of people to BE... that you're setting your child up for a hard life. No matter what you believe to be the "right way" to live your own life, it's important for a child to question things in their environment... whether that's questioning things that parents believe in or not.
It's surprisingly easy.. some would say disturbingly so.. to find the results of damaging kinds of childhood environments all over the media; one can only hope that these kids all grow up to learn how to think for themselves.
'Racist' parents fight for children
Wal-Mart Decorates Cakes for Nazis
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